My (36F) decade long relationship with my son’s dad (42M) failed & I’m now a single mom. I feel like used goods & that my life is over. Anyone been through this and how did you pick up the pieces?
Hi Reddit. My partner and I have a son together. I am the third woman he’s made a mother. He also has 2 daughters with 2 other women and has never married any of us, so he is a pro when it comes to leaving women.
My son has always lived with us in a house we both own. His dad left the home almost a year ago. He does love his son and picks him up from school every day, but he’s otherwise a “Disney Dad” and doesn’t worry about my son’s doc appointments, education, etc.
Our relationship failed for many reasons, including:
-I couldn’t get over him having two other daughters with other women that he had to dish out money to
-He grew up on the streets and his friend group is a bunch of low lives. Their hobby is detailing lowrider cars and he spends an obscene amount of time working on the cars instead of spending time with me (last time he took me on a date was in 2023).
-I have a lot of resentment because he has never established boundaries with the mothers of his daughters. For example, when I delivered my son, he only arrived 1 hour before my emergency c-section because he decided it was more important to drive 8 hours round-trip to pick up his daughter instead. Two days later, as I was in the hospital recovering from preeclampsia, the first mother of his daughter walked into my hospital room unannounced. No one asked me if that was OK or if I was comfortable with her visiting, and he did nothing to make the situation better. He did not pull her aside and ask her to leave. Instead, they walked over together to the NICU to visit my son. He ruined my entire labor and delivery experience.
-We have fundamental religious and educational differences. I usually have to break concepts down for him so he will understand.
-I nagged for years to get married and he would always tell me marriage wasn’t important to him.
Lately things have been especially nasty between us. We have insulted each other and he made fun of my body, our sexual intimacy, and my mental health (I take anxiety meds so he tells me to go take my “crazy pills”). We also had a physical fight two weeks ago where the cops were almost called. He has retained a lawyer to ensure he receives 50/50 custody (it’s automatic in Florida), and he says he will be filing a motion for a partition sale to force the sale of our house.
With all of this…part of me still loves him because he is my son’s father and we spent a decade together. I cannot think of him eventually being with another woman and bringing someone else into my son‘s life. At 36 years old and as a single mom, I also feel that my life is over and that I’m now used goods. I live in Miami where there are always much younger, prettier, and more successful women for the high value men to select from.
Have any other ladies been through something similar? How did you pick up the pieces?