Vent Out: Tired Kawani 😭
Just want to vent out, pasensiya na. Pagod na pagod na ako. I think I’m burnt out — overworked and underpaid, ganung feeling. Work after work after work.
For context, I work in the public educ sector. May politics and bureaucracy, sure, but generally I still believe in what we do. Kaya nga ako nandito.
I’m the second to the head of office, and tbh, super love ko ang work ko and my current appointed boss. We’re a really good tandem. Same vision, same vibe, same work ethic, same beliefs. Siya with the vision; I operationalize everything and make sure things actually happen. I know I do well, I have actual accomplishments getting the attention of the palace huhu. Hindi sa mayabang, but pet peeve ko talaga kapag bumabalik sa akin ang dokumento because I take pride in completed staff work. Gusto ko pulido, pinag-isipan, at ready for decision. My boss is very generous in giving credit and even pushes me to put my name on the projects and initiatives we’ve worked on (kahit d ako sanay dahil nahulma ako sa kultura na “staff lang”).
Pero recognition only goes so far.
Hindi pa nga ako eligible sa mga awards because of technical criteria like years of service and extension work. I sometimes laugh thinking — anong extension work kung halos 12–15 hours a day kami sa work haha (wth eight hours lang ang pwedeng bayad, hello COA haha jk).
Awards don’t really motivate. Hindi ko rin masyadong tinitingnan ang SG ko most days — nakakaiyak lalo haha. What keeps me going is the feeling that the work matters and that I’m helping build something meaningful huhu
Pero nakakapagod din pala when ur hard work doesn’t translate into something more tangible for ur own life. Parang ang taas ng responsibility, pero what u receive, hindi pa rin tugma.
For context, iyong annual salary ko is roughly equivalent to my boss’s annual differential. Natawa na lang talaga ako when we saw that and super comfort na lang siya, hay rlly one of the best bosses I could ever ask for.
Anw, this isn’t about resentment.
Pagod lang po talaga ako.
And I guess today, wala n lng talaga akong mapaglagyan ng pagod at bigat. After posting this, babalik na naman ako sa mga preps ko para sa loaded Lunes na mahal nating lahat haha.
Sana lang talaga magkaroon ng more opportunities for promotion in govt, especially for staff, without having to wait for a plantilla item to open. Sa isang maleta lang nila, ilang plantilla items na ‘yon! HAHA hay, Panginoon ko.
If ure thinking of working in govt, by all means, do. We need more people who are willing to serve.
I hope tenure and incentives do not become your primary motivation. On paper, those things look attractive. In reality, they can feel far more limited than u expect — lalo pag dependent on budget availability, and circumstances beyond control.
So if u do decide to join the govt workforce, I hope u do it for a deeper reason. I hope u find fulfillment in making selfless choices. I hope u find peace in knowing that, at the end of the day, you served this country well. One Filipino at a time.
If u made it this far, salamat for reading. Mabuhay ang mga kawani!