u/Clear_Flamingo_2402

I have rocd and sexual ocd. When the thought during intimate situation comes eg “he asked you twice or three times for sex - even playfully if you agree you will be raped and traumatized, he is a rapist“

I mean I want to have my own right to decide and if I decide I want to do it I want it to happen no matter if he asked me once or a few times.

My mind screams coercion! Assault. and there is a situation when I have little desire but want it to happen but anxiety floods me.

i fear dating and maybe men because of that and being in a relationship.

it’s been a year of constant fear dread and anxiety and no need meds are working.

Now on sertraline 150 mg. pregabaline. propranolol and ability 5 mg.

i had cbt a few years ago now in talk therapy.

I’m slowly upping Zoloft up to 200 mg, abilify 5mg, pregabaline 225 mg and propranolol.

I really want to date and want to be in a relationship and have good sex life. I love sex. I read if partner asks again if you say no then that coercion and if I even want to agree that’s rape. i want to stop thinking like this and I read all the internet and it’s such a compulsive behavior like I can’t stop. I don’t work.

I’ve been having ocd for 20 years now but it has never been so long lasting. meds are not working as they used to even though I tried many.

Usually that bad periods lasted like a month but not it’s been a year. I’m exhausted!

what should I do? I use ChatGPT as a therapist. I go to talk therapy though yesterday I felt so bad I didn’t go.