u/Clear_Excitement_511

I seen a few post with people saying they won’t be here for long, and idk I’ve never been a suicidal person I believe life is beautiful and worth living, even with life just having its way with me but I think I’ve officially hit my limit, I’m a young man, immigrant but been here longer than my “original” country , didn’t grow up with my parents one passed when I was young the other passed away 3 years ago may they rest in peace, I lost my job last year and my apt, and that’s coming from 2-3 years of sleeping on people’s couches so that took a toll on me and while that’s going on I had to worry about possibly being deported because my status was ending I haven’t been able to get my footing since and I’m back to sleeping on couches. Not by choice ofc just the dice I was rolled being an immigrant in America ,I had gf at the time but I told her I think it was best if we had some space due to everything going on she didn’t agree and thought we stay together and we met down the middle where we agreed we’d keep a close relationship but have boundaries…. In old human fashion ofc boundaries got crossed and she ended up pregnant, we both agreed during the 3 years we were together that we wouldn’t have kids because we’re no where near ready based on my situation and she had her own things going on and etc, so when she found out she called crying and we both agreed to do an abortion I got the money which was 150 and the site to get it from a mutual friend who had 2 abortions she filled out everything and got it delivered to her house within that an argument broke out because she wanted to share the news with her mother I felt as if maybe she should wait until after she didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks and when we spoke again she said she told her mom and her mom supports what ever decision she makes and I was being selfish , fast forward to when the abortion kill arrives her mom takes it and hides it and tells her she doesn’t think she should do the abortion and if she did she would look at her differently it became a whole thing and now she decided to keep the baby and I’ve became the villain..