Moms in the thick of raising kids should not have to plan things for mother's day. This is a hill I will die on. This rant is about my mom, who is usually a JustYesMom. For background, I have 2 sisters. Oldest sister is married and has 2 adult children (late 20s with no kids), youngest sister is single, no kids. I am married with 2 teenagers. I am the only one currently in the trenches. I work full-time (over 50 hours), my kids play multiple sports, are too young to drive, one is high functioning autistic, and the other has a chronic illness that causes him to miss a lot of school. I'm the primary parent during the school year because my husband is a teacher, so I'm the one staying home with him and taking him to doctor appointments, while still having to do my job. Luckily my boss is very understanding and I can work from home and work odd hours if needed. To top it off, my husband just had emergency surgery and can't drive or do much around the house.
Back to mother's day. Every year my mom and sisters say "what are we doing for mother's day?" And every year I say "I don't know. I'm not planning it." I'm perfectly willing to plan any event the other 364 days of the year. But I refuse to plan mother's day. I actually kind of hate mother's day. My husband is a horrible gift giver and waits for me to tell him what I want, or gets me something that I will never use. He literally said to me last year "here's a necklace that I know you probably won't wear." My husband and BIL usually pick what they want to eat (hamburgers and hot dogs) if they plan the meal. My kids whine about going to my mom's and it's more hassle than it's worth. Last year when I was telling my couple's therapist about it, she said to tell my family "That doesn't work for me. We have other plans." But we haven't done a ton with my family so I was fine going to my mom's this year. The other day my older sister asked what we were doing in the group chat that is only my mom, my sisters, and my niece. I told them not to count on my husband doing anything this year because of his surgery, and they seemed understanding. Then about an hour ago my mom texted me to order the food for everyone because "your kids are so picky." It took all I had in me not to lose it on her. I'm drowning right now. I'm still working, driving my kids all over, taking my husband to doctor appointments, getting calls from the school nurse, making all the meals, doing laundry, and taking care of my husband. My kids are helping but I still need to manage them. So I told her no.