I really love my boyfriend, but after 6 months together I can’t ignore that I often feel very drained after we spend time together. A big part of it is the lack of reciprocation in bed, but also in daily life (chores, effort, care). I’ve brought up the sexual part multiple times. He seems to understand in the moment, but nothing really changes. At most, there’s some “breadcrumbing” like brief touches with intention, but nothing that actually feels meaningful or satisfying.
In past relationships I struggled with receiving (especially oral), but I’ve worked on that a lot. I’m now at a point where I feel more confident and open than ever. But his lack of reciprocation is slowly undoing that. It makes me feel rejected and unwanted, and I’ve told him this.
Lately, when we’re in bed, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just there for his pleasure. There’s nothing that shows he cares about what I like. I don’t even enjoy sex with him as much anymore, and that makes me really sad. What confuses me is that he has no clear reason for not reciprocating, but he is completely fine with me doing things for him (oral, anal, etc.).
Outside of sex, I’m also the one who takes care of things like cooking, picking up after him, being emotionally supportive. I do like caring for people, but not to the point where it’s one-sided, especially since I’m chronically ill and it takes a lot of energy.
I haven’t even brought up the chores part yet because the sexual issue already feels like “a lot,” but it’s definitely adding to how drained I feel.
What makes it harder is that I do have people in my life who show up for me, care for me, and put in effort. So I know what it feels like when someone actually wants to invest in you. Which makes me question this relationship more and more.
At this point I’m starting to feel like the lack of reciprocation both sexually and in general might be a dealbreaker and will cause the end of this relationship which I actually don't want.
It is still a 'new' connection.. so I wanted to give it time.. but me mentioning the fact that this is hurting me and keeps on hurting me is an indication that this is not a healthy person for me.
Is this as one-sided as it feels? What could I try more, or is this just an dead end..