30 year female here, bedside nurse and today is actually my 30th birthday. Currently at the hospital. I worked really hard to get here, make my life what it imagined. Im fortunate But im sad… often. I have my husband, mom, grandma. Siblings i dont talk to i lost them a long time ago…which im often so sad about.(we had a traumatic childhood). Ive lost alot of relationships alot of family. Ive learned that nearly all relationships are temporary and that learning has hurt ..sence i was a wee child. Now i am 30, im getting older, its scary. My husband has so much family and they are so close nit…i love it love their relationships and as a outsider looking in it makes my heart hurt. My world got so small over the years…its a lonely 30th birthday. And its nurses week which is just a reminder of how little we are valued. I have no plans…just sleeping…trying to shake this emptiness and dread.
Thank you for letting me vent.