Am I a jerk?
My mother is mid 70s and in good health. She recently told me she's looking at houses in my neighborhood and wants to live near me. I would love her to do so, as she would closer to the grandkids and I could better care for her as she ages.
But
She told me she plans on having my adult brother live with her when she moves. My brother has a disability in that he is low functioning intellectually, but not to the degree where he can be considered handicapped. He currently lives apart from my mom, but close by. My mom says he's a support for her. But the truth if she needs to manage his life (dr apts, bill paying, ect) or it falls apart. He collects junk, is unable to maintain meaningful employment. Most concerning for me is he has ocassional encounters with law enforcement.
I had to tell my mom that I'm not comfortable with him living so close to me, let alone with her. She got very hurt and defended him, stating she was not going to move without him and now says she wont move at all.
I have no desire to become my brothers keeper by proximity after my mom passes should they move closer. Nor do I want the peace of where I live disrupted by his chaos.
Am I a jerk?