Hi everyone, I really need some honest outside perspective.
We’re both from desi families.
This is a love marriage, my fiancé- 26M and I- 25F were class fellows in med school so we’ve known each other for years (known each other 5 years, been together 3). We’re both planning to go down the USMLE route and we know the next few years will be financially tough and require a lot of investment.
We’re getting married in December. We have our step 1 exam in august’26 and the rest of the journey will be continued after our marriage.
Here’s where I’m feeling uneasy:
Initially my father had set aside a decent amount for me to help me with my journey and he had planned to give it to me when I got married. It is strictly for my education.
Recently, Our families sat down to talk and his parents expressed that they can’t afford to get me any sort of gold. (This is a very typical tradition in brown weddings). My fiancés mother does have approx 1.16kg of gold but she plans to divide it between her sons later on. She also stated that as a couple earning bare minimum, the zakaat (compulsory charity we will have to give on the gold) would be too much of a burden on us.
Now at the same time, his father stated that THEY would take care of my USMLE expenses when my father bought it up. Keeping this in mind, my father decided that he’ll get me gold with the money he had set aside because it’s a safe investment.
When I bought this up with my fiancé, he stated that his father didnt clearly state this. And there might be a chance that that money might be required. Both of us will be working but our expenses will mainly go towards our living expenses so this journey will be financed by the money thats in our savings.
Im feeling really uneasy. They aren’t giving me any gold which I was okay with because i know how expensive USMLE can get. But now theyre backing off from that as well.
Is this fair? How do I talk to him about this without making it awkward?