u/Classic_Basil_5179

One of my (F30) best friends (F30) has a habit that really bothers me. Whenever I confide in her about my relationship, she goes and tells her boyfriend about it. I honestly don’t understand why she feels the need to do that.

A while ago, another friend and I confronted her about it while we were on vacation together. We both told her we didn’t understand why intimate and private details about our relationships needed to be shared with her boyfriend. She apologized to both of us and said she was just used to sharing everything with him, but that she understood our boundaries and would respect them.

Well, now I found out she did it again. When I confronted her and told her I felt really hurt and angry about it, she said that she “barely tells him anything anymore” and that this time she only mentioned the topic and broad info, not the details, so according to her it’s basically okay because she’s not doing what she used to do before.

At this point I honestly don’t even know what to say to her anymore. How would you react in this situation? Am I asking for too much by wanting my confidential relationship issues to stay between friends instead of being shared with someone I never agreed to involve?

Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective.

I (F32) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (M33) for about two years. Our setup is that I spend one full month in his country, then one month back in mine, and we just keep rotating like that. He works in the hotel/tourism industry, while I’m a freelancer with a flexible schedule. I’m also a gamer- it’s a hobby I genuinely enjoy and a way I stay connected with friends from different countries.

Because of that, I’m more of a night owl. I don’t like waking up at 7am, I usually start my day later and go to bed after midnight. Lately, I’ve felt like my boyfriend quietly judges this. When we talk, he often asks what time I went to bed or woke up, and it doesn’t feel neutral.

Today, after not discussing it for a while, I asked him directly what he thinks about my gaming and lifestyle. To my surprise, he said it feels more like a “student lifestyle” than an adult one. That already hurt- but what really stuck with me was what he said next.

He told me he’s not sure whether, with the way I live, I’d be able to handle the responsibility of motherhood- that it might be too big of a change for me.

Right after saying it, he backtracked a bit when he realized how harsh it sounded. But honestly… it’s already in my head now, and I can’t just un-hear it.

From my perspective, I live a pretty calm and stable life. I don’t party, I don’t drink, I’m more of an introvert, and I value time with friends and family. Yes, my schedule is unconventional compared to a regular 9-5, but I don’t see it as irresponsible.

I also feel like having a child changes everyone’s life drastically, no matter when they go to bed or wake up.