I met this girl through an online math course on the 18th of January, 2024. I slid into her DMs helping her in a question she asked on the group and the conversation went well. She then asked for my name and where I’m from. I told her my name and my country X and she responded with her name and country Y. As you can deduce, we were living in two different countries (both in the Middle East) and were always long distance. I don’t remember much details but we eventually started talking as classmates and chatting everyday about the math course, questions, and whatnot. We became friends by the first month where we started sharing our favorite movies, texted each other whenever we felt bored or wanted to share good news, etc etc. I liked her a lot, she is arguably the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my whole lifetime and I wholeheartedly believe I’ll never see a girl as gorgeous as she is to me. I started getting butterflies and weird heartaches in the second month of our friendship. I liked her, perhaps way too much. I stopped having an appetite for food, I stopped talking to my family much, stopped hanging out with my friends. Fast forward 2 months later, on March 29th, 2024 and after consulting close friends of mine, I decided to confess to her my love to her and oh boy it went well. She told me she likes me as well and many of my characteristics. She even told some of her friends about me prior to my confession.
I loved this girl. Her smile, her voice, her passion, her spark, her energy, her enthusiasm, her presence that is full of joy and love, this girl stole my heart in a heartbeat and there was nothing I was able to do about it. I asked her to be my girlfriend on April 25th, 2024. From the day I confessed till summer, everything was purely perfect. She was my first ever love, first ever girlfiend and first ever relationship and I just couldn’t believe it. We dated to marry, had serious intentions and we were nothing short of understanding and loving. Summer 2024 came where it changed everything. Her family (conservative) caught her talking to me and took her phone away and were able to contact my parents and ask them to make me stop talking to her. This led to us not talking for almost 3 weeks and I had no idea where she is, what’s happening to her or her whereabouts. Those 3 weeks were the worst weeks of my whole life, but happily she texted me again telling me that she stopped living in country Y and went to country Z. I was shocked but I didn’t care much, I still love her more than ever and she’s the girl of my dreams. She listens to all of my venting and problems, always keen to show me all the love she has for me, never put me down or belittled me and was always there for me. I went to Europe for a 2 week holiday and couldn’t text her much and in those 2 weeks so many things changed that basically changed the course of our entire future together. She went through this phase where she was unsure if she even loves me or not (due to her being caught by her family) so she started talking to me less and less and stopped caring about me that much. This broke my heart but I couldn’t let it ruin me enjoying that Europe trip. She had those male cousins that I didn’t like and I always told her I don’t like them so please stay away from them, (in where we live cousins can be in relationships and marry so that’s why). I then get told by her that her male cousins and her hung out to multiple places like a bowling alley and went dining together and stuff like that. And when I confronted her about it, she straight up told me “they probably have other girls to date, they won’t look at a girl like me”. I remember crying so hard while standing in the middle of the Parisian streets while reading this, and it changed my entire perception of her as this innocent loving girl. When I told her that what she said doesn’t make sense and it doesn’t validate anything, she started shouting at me in her voice messages and telling me that I don’t understand her or see her and I was like “oh okay”, while tears are running down my face. Since that moment and we were just never the same again.
I stopped seeing her as a beautiful cute girl to be loved and protected and started seeing her as someone manipulative and knows what they’re doing. Summer ended and we got back on terms again but just weren’t the same. Yes we talk everyday, love each other everyday but I had severe trust issues (I was always open to her and vulnerable to her). I’m someone who also could be very jealous over their partner so I was incredibly jealous and always chose what she wears and what she doesn’t. At first she liked it, or pretended to, as she says it’s manly, but then she stopped listening to me gradually and started fighting with me over it which left me amused. She was a huge makeup enthusiast which is something I didn’t like and I always told her that her wearing this much makeup feels performative, like who are you wearing this makeup for? Her usual answer was “myself” but that’s something I was never able to buy. From October 2024 till March 2025 it was purely constant arguments, me getting hurt over many things and it felt like she’s feeling “controlled” and “unloved” by me while I was trying my hardest to prove to her I wasn’t. She stopped having this caring persona, stopped asking me about my day or about my feelings or my interests and it left me completely heartbroken.
I then made the mistake of semi-cheating. A random girl (another classmate) added me on Instagram and started complementing me and even went further to flirting with me. I don’t know why, but I complimented her back and flirted with her knowing damn well I already have a girlfriend. Once all this was done I regretted everything and deleted everything and went and showed her everything and confessed what I did. She was absolutely heartbroken, disappointed and cried so hard and would lash out at me a lot which is understandable. After that, we just basically not talked much anymore. It would be 2-3 days maximum per week after it was 3-4 hours per day.
Guys I don’t know. I talked a lot and I’m just heartbroken. I love this girl so much and we’re not together anymore, she broke up with me in August 2025 and refuses to talk to me whatsoever and I’m just still so in love with her. She managed to move on pretry quickly and act like I never happened while I’m still trying to process what the hell just happened. It’s March 2026 and I still feel stuck in August 2025 while everything else around me is advancing and moving on. I wasn’t perfect, I hurt her a lot but she hurt me too, she used to put her friends above me and would value them above me when I would beg her to side with me whenever her friends disrespect me. But when she was good, she was real good. The bad was ugly but the good was heavenly. I want her back, I want to talk to her again and fix things and continue this journey we had.
During august 2025, her last words to me were her calling me a burden, and told me that she doesn’t want to date me anymore because if she did and her family knew it’ll ruin her chances of marrying other men which is something that left me bamboozled. She would also tell me things like she’s already praying for another man to come “take her”.
I want to make a note. Sometimes-when I dated her I felt like I’m settling for less, it felt like her and I were not on the same mental maturity and intellect. She wouldn’t always understand my feelings and would always be a somebody who’s a fit in. Basically doesn’t have her own true identity and would easily be influenced by other parties.
Despite all this, I still love her, she’s 24/7 on my mind and I still want her one last time. I’m going to university next year and I don’t know how I’ll do it without her.
Sorry I just needed somewhere to put all this out