Good morning to my support network!
I was diagnosed with severe ADHD 2 weeks ago and started meds. I think we need to increase my meds because I'm not noticing a real difference in how I feel, or function) my brain fog, focus etc .
I wanted to just take a deep breathe and see if my diagnosis would help guide me/ us in a better direction I'm terms of our relationship. I understand things take time, however, when he said " doesn't EVERYONE have a little ADHD!" And I tried to explain, no. It's mostly a neurological defect at birth anyways, he didn't seem to really care or take time to learn more about ADHD.
I've asked him to read "stop letting everything affect you" to help understand where I'm coming from, he didn't.
I asked him to learn more about ADHD, he as not. BUT he did buy a book .... He recently moved into a new position at work out in the warehouse and felt he needed a book in regards to the leadership etc.
He made a comment last night that he tries to wait until I'm not in the kitchen because I'm loud!
My phone fell out of my pocket onto the floor is what triggered him to make that comment.
He has been saying things like this to me recently which has made me feel like I can't do anything because I'm making noise that will disturb or bother him.
We actually have money in the bank.
So I'm very close to taking half of that money leaving the house and going to stay with the family member and filing for divorce. I just don't know that I have it in need to take half of the money which would be about $15,000! I understand half of it is mine it's just a moral thing that I don't feel it's right to do to him. Something I think about it and human think twice about doing it to me!
I'm really in a struggle right now.
Not to mention that our son is about to graduate high school and decided he was going to go off the rails and do whatever the hell he wants because he's 18 and is about to throw his whole school career out the window and my house says nothing to him! I'm the one trying to navigate all of it andixh more with our kids while he focused on his work ( he is a blue collar worker in a warehouse) just to give premise of his "really important job"!
I'm exhausted, burnt out. Put graduate is the youngest and is off to college in 3 months. We have a 22 yr old still at home but he is getting close to his own independence. ( He had a traumatic death in his life at 17 and gave him a big bump on the road that he is getting over)
ALONE ALONE ALONE is what I have felt for most part of 33 years!
I need help to get the strength and courage to make a move for MYSELF! EVERYONE ELSE IN MY WORLD HAS ALWAYS BEEN FIRST!