I have no idea if this is normal or not, or if it's a weird stretchy grout. But it's gumming up my Dremel tool and it's a pain to pick it out with the knife. I don't think they glued the tiles to the wall either.
Edit: they did glue the front ones on. they aren't budging. but the toilet side of the wall is falling off
I spent all Saturday at my parents, bc my kids love it there and it was mother's Day weekend. Near the end of the day, after several drinks (not me, I don't drink....I looked at my kids and didn't want them to have the childhood I did, and I quit), my mom told me, without my dad there, that they were doing their will. Normally this sort of intimate topic, along with her tone and hesitation of words would make me the the conversation... It was not going to be good for me. But a Will, that's valuable information about my future.
Obviously my golden child brother is going to be executor of all three parts, money, stuff, and health. If he dies, then my sister will be executor of money and stuff, and I'll have power of attorney for their health and end of life decisions.
I was told this, not asked. We live in the north part of the US and my brother lives in TX. My sister lives 1.25 hrs away. I live in the same town. Obviously I'm the first in line for medical help and decisions. I tried talking to them about this. They said that I won't have to make any decisions unless bro dies. And anyways, we will all be calling and discussing it first. Except we have never once called and discussed anything as a family. We don't even call and do video chats on Christmas!
I asked for time to think about it. They were extremely upset that I didn't nod and say thank you for thinking of me.
Then Monday morning my dad texts me saying he needs to know that day c he's talking to the lawyer. I asked for a document of my responsibilities. My mom sent me a screenshot of Google.
This is my response
"I mean I googled it too. I thought you had some legal docs etc that detailed my exact responsibilities.
But, yes, I will be second healthcare POA, but only as backup for medical decision making. I can't be the primary coordinator of care or family communication."
My dad's response:
"There are no legal docs. You just can’t predict the future. BROTHER would be primary. The only time you would be primary is if BROTHER proceeds in death before us. If we put SISTER second, you would never have to be primary."
So I said yes I'll do it. But notice how he didn't acknowledge my boundary of not being coordinator of care or family communication? They have no idea what they are asking, not do they care.
Maybe this doesn't sound so bad? But I used to try to coordinate family get togethers, visits, dinner, etc. I used to work with them all (siblings and parents) to better communicate. And all I got was hate and called bossy and ignored. So I stopped, to protect my peace. And now I imagine it all falling on me when they get sick, and it'll be my fault when nothing happens or when I try to make something happen. I'm not going to win this double bind.
The only good part that also makes me sad is that my mom plans on living her last years with my brother and the favorite grandkids. So... Yay, she's gone. But... My kids love visiting her and miss her. They are old enough now to take care of themselves.
They spend half the year in AZ so this only affects me for half the time.
The whole thing stirs up feelings of my childhood, where my mom made me the example of what not to act like to my younger siblings and my dad only talked to me if it was required, or he was stoned. They all think I'm the stupid one. But I'm they only one with a Master's of Science and a real and often cited peer reviewed scientific paper!
I wasn't "successful" in their eyes bc I became a homemaker and didn't get a career. Nor do I run cross country like my brother. Turns out I'm AuDHD and fall under the gifted category, and my neurodivergence makes it too hard on my mental health to work. I wish I could have a career, it's what I used to wish for when I blew out my candles.
Ps. My mom was a homemaker