u/Civil-Cod-3627

hopefully this doesn’t sound ridiculous. What am i supposed to do, act natural? I dont know what that means. Im honestly kind of a mess if im not masking or telling people how I feel. Kind of turns into my life story on accident.

Edit: More specifically, I’ve been impulsively just saying whatever people want to hear so they’ll leave me alone and stop nagging me. This is especially occurrent during a conflict where I don’t feel respected and I just disappear. Kinda feel like saying how I feel would get me beat up or something.

One week, it’s alright. I’m the most productive person on earth. I do things on time. Now I can’t fucking type or think of the right words for anything. I feel like 3 weeks ago I could’ve been considered well literate and now I’ve be degraded to the grammar skills of a kindergartener.
I’m also really angry. What is up with that? There is legitimately no reason for me to be angry. But also, I’m not disgustingly depressed and can do things.

It’s like, in having silenced the noise in my head, it has silenced thinking altogether. I can do things but I cannot think normally. I also cannot really organize sentences as well as before. The pills making me go stupid. Literally, where did 65% of my vocabulary go? I’ve always been good at explaining things, but now I’m redundant! Awful!

I also can’t shut my eyes closed without getting anxious for whatever reason. I can’t rlly get a psychiatrist to help me or anything either cuz I lost one like 6 months ago when I moved away from home. And, my dad had a heart attack (he is fine now) so everyone’s more concerned about dealing with that right now. I will probably just stop taking It and hide it on a high shelf. Not much I can do now.

It’s also like Wellbutrin SR 100 mg 2x a day (12 hr) but I only take one because of insomnia and my parents told me to do that instead of once a day so I could have more meds for emergencies (since we moved nd stuff)