I am so proud of you all- That's it that's the post!
Pretty much the title- I am so proud of all of you! All of you who are choosing to wake up and breathe, choosing to stay alive, breathing in oxygen, feeling hope and choosing to exist, however hard life got for you, despite of all the times you have been hurt and have been in pain, despite of the times life has tested you.
I am proud of each one of you, whose minds and environment are pushing them down but who are still choosing to open that book and read for that exam tomorrow, those who are choosing to go to that workplace that is eating your brain alive, those who are choosing to wipe their tears and carrying on strength with a smile on their faces. Today, I am writing this post just to appreciate each one of you- who has been through the toughest situations, who has been through stuff that has torn you down and broken you and changed you and you still choose to get up and spend another day, fighting through- I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and I want to say- Please keep fighting, please keep running, swimming, reading, walking, working , whatever it takes right now to be where you have to be in the future. Hold on to your dreams, your purpose so tight that nothing and nobody can ever tell you that they are too much or convince you that you are delusional and you will never achieve it.
Because I could not, I have lost myself, perhaps permanently, and I regret every single day I let the darkness inside me consume me, every time I let people and situations pull my down in the past, every time I chose everyone but myself, I chose my demons, my laziness, bad decisions and choices, my demons have brought me where I am today!
And there is no going back, I have a feeling, my ending will probably not be as good as I thought, and I am slowly coming in terms with it, I have disappointed my younger self and I will probably disappoint her even more and I feel no amount of light can erase the darkness inside me, all I see is loss and pain, no motivational video, music, goal or purpose is helping me, and I feel delighted by this thought somehow, because I know there are people in the world who probably deserve everything way more than I do, people who are much more stronger, people who are not as cowardly as me, people who held on to themselves when things got tough unlike me who never fought back, And I am afraid that Now I am too worn down to turn anything back around. I don't even have the energy in me to talk now, I feel so tired deep inside my soul, and I have no idea why, but I do not care anymore, probably my story will end soon and hopefully I will find the courage to end this suffering somehow.
But today, I want to appreciate all of you, please live, please hold on to that energy, that vigor, those dreams, hold on to your self respect, to your pride, hold on to your confidence, your strength, and keep moving, protect that child inside of you with everything you got! Protect them from the world and from the demons inside of you! And keep going, don't stop, for yourself, for the world, for me, for everyone, pick up those who cannot and move, you all who are fighting are the only hope this world has left, the beautiful souls that have held on to self-awareness and improvement are the only ones who can save the future.
All the best and hold on, I promise if you do, you will be there, just don't lose yourself in the process of reaching there! NEVER LOSE YOURSELF! PROTECT YOURSELF!