u/CinnamonCorgiRoll

I’ll be turning 30 this January and it feels like I need to start making a decision. Throughout my childhood and early teen years I was solid on being child free and so is my husband. In the last 4 years, we’ve had many close friends and family have kids and it’s shifted our perspective a bit. I figured once we move into a bigger place and have more space we’ll most likely be ready but now the thought of it has me in a panic. I love the life my husband and I have with each other and I feel so selfish not wanting a baby because it could change that. I’ve talked with him about it and there’s no pressure from him for us to have kids or be child free. At this point I just want to wait till I’m 36 and if I get pregnant, I get pregnant, if I don’t then I don’t. I’m not sure why I’m putting so much pressure on myself to decide. I have moments where I see moms with there kids and I tear up thinking that could be me one day but also want to throw up. This has been bubbling up in me for days now and I think I just need to hear other people’s experiences at this point.