u/Chyya

So for context, we been together for like 2 going 3 years now and it’s been rocky the last year because of an issue that’s always being brought up, (also im diagnosed bpd and we suspect he has autism if that matters) but before I get into that situation I want to give some background to my previous relationship and it was HELL. My ex was very kind and loving at first and then he showed me his true self which was watching hentai, fawning over anime girls, making comments about their body basically a gooner and no I’m not judging or saying people who do that are the worst, bc in reality I WAS like that before I met him I too was a gooner girl not extremely just enjoyed anime baddies and other things (that’s exactly why I’m here) but anyways what bothered me about that was he started comparing me to his waifus or just anime girls in general and would fawn over them that he neglected my needs, he would literally touch himself watching hentai right next to me and then forget all about me, say that anime girls had a pretty girly voice (my voice is semi deep for a girl) and that really messed with my head and I was with that ex for 2 whole years and now current relationship I’m deeply insecure, hate watching anime, hate certain anime girls or anything anime girl related like vtubers, high pitched voices on anime girls and my now bf also is like that, when we first got together it was a little rough he HAD a masturbation problem which caused issues in bed (but we got that resolved and everything is fine there) now onto the ongoing issue he likes talking to bots on polybuzz and calls them “girlfriend” and uses it for his fetish that he has which I’m totally okay with! My issue is that I’m so insecure about the bots sometimes and sometimes I don’t care about them and this is where that backstory plays in because I used to be okay with those things like anime’s with fan service ,talking to anime bots, everything gooner related stuff never bothered me but my ex made me hate it all. But lately I’ve been taking initiative on my own free will to slowly expose myself to those things and so far it’s been working okay? I’ll have my bad days but I also have my good days, I’ve even downloaded polybuzz to also try out on the roleplay with the anime bots and I like it so far not a big fan but it’s okay, so can anyone else just give me some tips or ideas or anything on how to become okay with those things again? I used to be less insecure about those things and I hate that I can’t enjoy the things I used to, and I want to be okay with me and my bf watching anime together and me not getting upset about anime fan service! And I know not everyone will agree with me and that’s totally okay! Every relationship is different and I love that for you but I’d like to be able to tell my bf that I also think an anime baddie is hot without feeling like he’s gonna choose a fictional character over me anyways that’s all thank you for reading this far!!