I’m autistic, and sometimes I don’t understand certain social or relationship expectations, so I’m hoping for some outside perspective.
My partner (26M) and I (26F) have been together for 6 and a half years. I’ve always wanted to get married and have kids someday. Marriage has been a lifelong dream for me, not for the party or the attention, but for the commitment, the symbolism, and the stability it represents, though the whole dream wedding would be wonderful.
My partner, however, doesn’t want to get married at all. His view is basically: “Why spend all that money and have a big public event when we can just stay together and date forever?” He says he loves me deeply and sees no reason to change anything just for a title.
I’m torn. On one hand, it hurts and saddens me that he doesn’t want marriage, because it’s something I’ve always imagined for my future and is part of my religion. On the other hand, I refuse to give him an ultimatum. I love him, and I want him to want to marry me, not feel pressured into it.
I’m mentally battling myself because I don’t understand something:
If two people love each other, why do some couples break up over this? Why is marriage such a dealbreaker for some people? I’m trying to understand whether this is something I should accept, something that can change over time, or something that means we’re fundamentally incompatible.
Any insight would help. Please be kind; I’m sensitive to criticism.