I Had a Dream Last Night That Was Just An Episode of Smiling Friends (NSFW)
Last night I dreamed an 'Alan episode' of Smiling Friends.
The episode opened with Alan waking up in his bedroom to a knock at the door. Upon opening the door, he was greeted by Mr. Landlord. Alan told him that he wasn't interested in drinking diet soda, smoking weed, or playing Burnout Revenge for the PS2. Mr. Landlord replied that he had no interest in doing those things with Alan, as he had found love with a new boyfriend named “Blue Alan,” who was literally just Alan, but blue.
Blue Alan walked into the frame, and they started making out in front of Alan. Alan was like, “Okay. Cool. Glad I don't have to deal with this anymore.” He then went to work.
Upon arriving at Smiling Friends HQ, he told Charlie and Pim about the development with Blue Alan and Mr. Landlord. Charlie and Pim began to razz Alan, insisting that he was jealous that Mr. Landlord had moved on to someone else.
Mr. Boss then entered, saying that Mr. Landlord was so happy to have found love that he was taking out the entire office to Dave & Buster’s for the day. Alan told Mr. Boss that he wasn't going, but Mr. Boss insisted that he go or be fired. Charlie and Pim continued to pick on Alan for being jealous.
The Smiling Friends crew then went to Dave & Buster’s.
Upon arriving, they began a montage of playing games, with several cuts of Mr. Landlord and Blue Alan playing games together while Alan eyed them suspiciously in the background.
As the montage went on, Mr. Landlord and Blue Alan began engaging in increasingly explicit displays of public affection. This eventually escalated to the point where Blue Alan, in Alan’s voice, shouted, “Yes, Mr. Landlord! You sexy beast, take me here and now on this claw machine, in front of everyone! Impregnate me!”
A black censor bar appeared while the Smiling Friends watched in horror. Instead of sex sounds playing, it was the sound of flesh tearing, teeth gnashing, and guts squelching.
The sounds ceased, and everyone in the Dave & Buster’s stared in silent horror. Blue Alan was lying on the ground, now visibly pregnant, with Mr. Landlord next to him, but his crotch was missing, as it had exploded during the coitus.
Blue Alan turned and said, “Wow, Mr. Landlord, that was incredible! I have never had sex like that in my life.”
Mr. Landlord did not respond, as he was dead. Blue Alan shook his body and began to cry.
Regular Alan approached Blue Alan to comfort him, saying that Mr. Landlord was a good man and that he was sorry for his loss.
As this happened, Blue Alan said, “Uh oh! I’ve got a rumbly in my tumbly. I think the baby is coming!”
Cut to a horrified reaction shot of the crowd and the sound of childbirth.
Cut to a reaction shot of Alan shouting, “What the fuck?” followed by a reaction shot of Blue Alan shouting, “Mr. Landlord?”
The camera then turned to reveal that the baby was just a tiny version of Mr. Landlord, who proceeded to say:
“Behold, Alan! I have reincarnated myself! I used Blue Alan here to make you jealous and faked my death so that you would realize how much you missed me, so that you would come over and hang out with me and smoke weed and fill our bellies with diet soda and play Burnout Revenge on the PS2.”
Stunned reaction shots came from the whole room.
Alan then looked directly into the camera and said, “I need to get a new apartment.”
Roll credits.
I woke up after the credits ended with dry mouth. 10/10. Good job.