When i was 15, my parents died in a car accident. my brother was 18 at that time.
we had no grandparents left, no aunts, no uncles, no cousins close enough to even call. it was just us.
after the funeral, a social worker explained that my brother could try to become my guardian, but it would mean court, stable housing, proving income, school stuff, therapy appointments, all off it. he had just started community college, worked part time in a warehouse and lived in a tiny apartment our parents had been helping pay for.
one of my dad's friends told him he was barely an adult and that i needed stability, not some broke kid trying to play parent and living in a mess. i remember him staring at the floor the whole time.
then he said he couldn't take me with him and just let me be taken into foster home.
i went through three of them before i aged out. none were horror movie bad, but none were home either, one time i was harassed by other kid. i stopped answering his calls after a while because every voicemail just made me feel like trash. he’d say he missed me, then i’d go back to packing my stuff into garbage bags.
i’m 25 now. i’m married, have two kids and have a descend job. i built a life without him.
a few months ago he messaged me. he said he had a lot of problems in life since that time, like alcohol abuse, but now he’s been sober almost two years, has a steady job and knows he failed me. he said he doesn’t expect forgiveness, but wants one chance to apologize without excuses. he also offered money, help with the kids, or to stay away if that gives me peace.
i told him, you were the only family i had, and you gave me away.
he said, i know.
and i just ended the call.
my husband says i owe him nothing. my friends say he was a grieving 18 year old and maybe i'm blaming him for not being able to become a parent overnigth.
i know he was young, his life was a mess, he was broken too, but i was 15 and he was all i had.
AITAH?