u/ChonkyCatOwner

I dont know if this is allowed but five days ago I lost my father suddenly in his sleep. It has not been easy it still is not easy and I miss him terribly. A few days after he passed it was his birthday and this Sunday will be fathers day (i live in the uk). We still have no answers on what happened as its been delayed twice now.

Things keep going on in my head I still feel overwhelmed and I keep crying. But I still need to continue for the sake of my cats and my sister and him. I need to contact the council which I'm scared to do as my name was not on the lease so they may want me out ASAP. I need to take over the bills I need to go shopping for myself now which I've never done i have a social worker trying to find me help which I may end up having to pay myself for what ever reason. I still dont know if staying here will be good for me long term. We're trying to get all his accounts sorted, find his will all sorts needs doing.

On top of that I noticed today that in 12 years since reuniting with my father (due to other family drama) this is the longest I've been away from him. And it fucking hurts. I miss him so much but I need to continue for the sake of my sister and my cats but its hard.

As for everyone who reached out and responded to me on that horrible day I say with the most sincerity I can - thank you all.

I'm still processing everything i came down this morning and found him sleeping. I tried to wake him, he didnt. I called a ambulance i called my sister and now i dont know what to do. My head is swimming. He was my father he took care of me and helped me a lot with things what on earth do I do? I have so many questions like:

How do I go about his funeral? How do I contact everyone who knew him Why did this happen What happens to me and the cats now hes gone? How do I even start looking for support Why did this happen Why didnt I tell him enough that I loved him I should of. Could I of prevented this

I'm so overwhelmed and scared and I just cant cry anymore. I feel like I've been hit by a flashbang.

I also lived with him so now I dont know how long I can stay here or how to go about trying to get support.