Hi folks,
I'm a first time father (33) of a little girl who has just turned 1. Our baby wasn't planned and we took a bit of time to decide that we were going to have her.
My partner (F32) has just returned to work and baby now goes on to nursery twice a week. I have been present every day by some form, and i've never left them at night or the evenings. I work from home and in the evenings will cook her dinner and do her baths, what I didn't want to do was be absent. I feel like whatever I do isn't enough.
I had a lot of anxiety when she first arrived and the birth was difficult. It took me a long time to get into the swing of things being a new dad and I think in some ways I did have a bit of post-partum depression. Things picked up and I managed to get into a groove, even when we had to deal with 'stranger danger' and have to explain to family respectfully that it's just taking a bit of time for her to get used to people. All were brilliant, and remain brilliant. We introduced her to new nutritious food which we cook for her every day, we take her to play cafes to try and get her to see other babies and small children, which she loves!
Since turning 1, I'm having the same anxieties I had when she was a new-born. I just don't know what I'm meant to be doing. She hates going to nursery and she doesn't eat anything whilst she is there. She of course is coming back with more colds and runny noses which makes me worry, she comes back from nursery absolutely distraught and tired and I don't know how to help her. Every cry feels personal like i'm failing and i'm trying really really hard.
I've gone back to a year ago where I just feel like i'm totally out of my depth and I don't know what to do. Did anyone else have this feeling, or did those feelings come back again or did they appear for the first time after 1?
I find myself thinking that I've failed her and I've done this thing that I'm trying to navigate but can't. I don't want to let her or her mum down.