Reality feels like a nightmare,I wish I could sleep forever
I've joined DNB PG 3 months ago with no drop year or anything. I wasn't interested in any field and i chose whatever is "best" according to my parents and society. Now I feel like I'm in a nightmare every time I'm awake.
I have very little skills or practice from my internship. And usually people say you'll get to know everything in PG, which now feels like bs. Our consultants expect us to know how to manage even rare cases, know the drugs and dosages of every random drug which we don't even use nowadays, be updated with every journal or ongoing trials, and mostly, be skilled like i already have years of practice. They don't appreciate anything but make sure to taunt whatever mistakes we make. And these stupid bitchasses gossip among themselves, back bitch about everyone, and sometimes even fight in the classes.
And the schedule is soo hectic, they expect us to work and run like machines. They want us to do presentations, take classes, and study about others' topics in advance, do night duty once in 3 days, and also do the scut work with 0 mistakes. And they want everything to happen in time. We are constantly understaffed, the nurses keep changing everytime, and we pgs are posted in different units, and they want everyone to not move from their assigned places, but still everything should happen precisely. They can't wait for fucking 5 min or be patient. On top of it, berate us at every chance they get. Whatsoever passion i had in the subject has exhausted completely and I don't even feel like passing out. I don't feel like continuing at all. It feels like I don't even belong here.
Three months ago, my entire world revolved around GT scores, percentiles, no. of corrects, and surviving this rat race. Now it all feels painfully narrow-minded. What’s the point of securing a seat if you’re too drained to work for it, or too restless to ever feel at peace. I feel happier in dreams than reality.
Had to rant somewhere and I don't even get the time to rant usually :')
Whoever is giving neet pg , hope you secure a rank. But take wherever the fuck you're interested in. Forget "annual income" forget "saturation" forget "societal expectations", don't take something just because you're getting it. Make sure you can wake up happily to go to work, and come back satisfied. Or you'll regret like me in future. Once you choose a branch it's a dead end.