Hi there,
I’m emotionally a wreck at the moment. I’m 10 weeks pregnant. Last night I woke up to pee in the middle of the night and I heard my husband sleep talking. He usually doesn’t sleep talk unless it’s a vivid dream. He had a long conversation, some inaudible, but he started moaning, had a hard on and then called out his ex’s name. I also felt him and he had a hard on.
She has always been a big part in our relationship. She ended the relationship suddenly with him, and he told his best friend he “didn’t know how good he had it when he was with her”.
We’ve been together 4 years and she’s been with him 3. They were each others first. He told me he couldn’t spend money on me because she used a lot of his money (designer bags etc) and so he was really frugal with me (50-50 on our anniversary dinner), and multiple other experiences similar to that.
If he has the heart to cheat in his dreams, with a woman he swore he never wanted back, is that reflective of his deepest desires and what he would be willing to do in real life? Our sex life isnt the best admittedly- he’s a lot smaller than my ex (my only other partner) and I feel like as a result I’m not as tight for him. He’s can only cum in certain positions and struggles to get hard with me.
This has always been a sore topic for us, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones and I’m blowing things up in my mind, but part of me wants to run away, get rid of the child and start anew with someone else.
I’ve had my doubts throughout this whole relationship, I thought we were in a good place with the pregnancy but now I have my doubts. I wonder if I’m over reacting. I feel like it might be a reflection of his deepest desires and I feel really hurt.