u/Choice_Bee_775

I posted a couple weeks ago about my dad. I’ve been his caregiver for 7 years. Something happened a couple weeks ago and I was just absolutely done. I called my uncle who is in my hometown and where my dad grew up (I’m from there too). My uncle absolutely saved me and sprang into action. Since then he has found a place for my dad there and has gotten all his paperwork done for Medicaid and as soon as the place has a bed, he is going to come and get my dad.
I feel awful. I feel like I failed and I have so many mixed feelings. Relief, grief, sadness, anger. Like it doesn’t end. I have been an absolute mess.
I know I am lucky that my uncle is willing to take this on. My dad has been in my home for eight years and it has strained my marriage and my health. It’s been a nightmare. This new plan is a whole other kind of nightmare because I failed. But it’s also such a relief.
He is going to go to an assisted living place that is very small and he will have his own room. My uncle has set all of this up and it really is the best thing. This will all be happening in the next few weeks.
I feel so drained and afraid for my dad and the guilt is overwhelming.
The first time I posted this there were people saying I was so lucky and that felt even worse. I’m a total failure at this. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want my dad to feel alone. It’s scary and isolating. Like, what if he dies alone and is scared and sad and the only reason is because I am too weak to handle it?
Am I doing the right thing? Am I the worst daughter in the whole world? Am I really lucky and am just being a total bitter ass hole about everything?
Please help me. I hate this. I hate that I’m not strong enough. I hate that I let this go on so long. I hate that I’m failing my dad. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me.

I feel like the worst person in the world right now. About 8 years ago my dad was in a home in my hometown. I don’t live there anymore. He was falling everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, because he drinks so much. So I swooped in and said I was going to take him home with me and I did. But now it is getting more and more difficult for me to care for him. Last week I discovered he was sneaking alcohol into the house and actually has little bottles of liquor everywhere. So between his health worsening exponentially, and him lying to me and making my home not a safe place, I called my dad’s brother Jerry. My uncle Jer has offered to bring him back to our hometown several times because he knows I am struggling. So of course, Jerry is helping me and told me he wanted to move him back there and put him back in a home near him. It’s been 8 years of trying to manage my dad, make him not be alone, and the caregiving. His health is awful. Uncle Jerry called me today and told me he is going to check out a couple of homes for my dad tomorrow. It all just seemed real all of a sudden. I have been so nauseous today and during the call I felt like the lowest of the low. I feel like I’m abandoning my dad and putting so much stress on my uncle and aunt (Jerry insists he wants to do this for me because it has been such a huge struggle), I feel like I’m abandoning my dad. I just feel so guilty and awful about everything. My husband while very supportive, wants my dad out. I do too, but I can’t get over how guilty I feel. I don’t know if I can go through with it even though I don’t feel like I cannot do this anymore. Am I just a horrible horrible person? How do I live with myself? My dad is so unwell but 8 years ago when I brought him here they were giving him months to live. I know this is all scrambled and lacks detail but this is so long already. Am I a hideous person? Please help. Be honest. I really want to know.