Do other mothers ever feel like something is “off” with their adult child even without proof?
My son is 24 and still comes home almost every weekend. Recently he suddenly had an unexpected week off, even though earlier he had already mentioned specific collective vacation weeks later in the year.
On paper this may sound minor, but there’s history behind why it affects me this much. In the past he wasn’t honest about how things were going with his education/training. At one point I had suspicions something was off, and later it turned out my concerns weren’t completely unfounded.
Ever since then, I struggle to trust the situation when things suddenly don’t add up in my head.
What makes this harder is that he is extremely private and tells us almost nothing. I can handle bad news, failure, problems, honestly almost anything as long as people are open and honest with me. But I constantly feel like I’m trying to read between the lines.
I also notice something emotionally intense happens when he’s home. The atmosphere in the house changes. Tension between me and my husband escalates more easily. When my son is away, everything between us feels calmer and normal again. My husband admits he also sometimes doesn’t know what to think, but my son says I’m overthinking and “crazy.”
The difficult part is that I genuinely can’t tell anymore whether this is intuition or anxiety caused by damaged trust. I sleep badly over it. Something keeps me alert and uneasy, almost like my body is sensing danger or bad news even though I can’t logically explain it.
For people with adult children who are very closed off/private: have any other mothers experienced this? Especially the feeling that your gut keeps telling you something is wrong, while you also fear you may be projecting anxiety because trust was damaged before?