Hi there. Will try to keep it short. I (22F) am more and more afraid of my parents disappearing, especially my father.
My mother is 62 and my father 73, separated (never married) since my birth/early childhood. I spent my teenage years at my father's place and college at my mom. Since some months I am living at my boyfriend's place, due to love first, and confirmed by a big need of independance from my mom who don't really leave me alone in terms of independance. As of the rest, parents fought my all teenagehood but are still friends/appreciate humanly each other. They did their best to be good parents and while it's hella hard to make my mom understand I want to see more my bf and friends, I love them deeply.
I live in Paris and my father in the countryside, I don't have a car and I am quite broke so I am not seeing him often.
I must had that my mother is emphasizing on my father taking age and saying things like I will just have my eyes to cry when he will be gone. It is awful for me to hear that.
Those days/weeks I am crying a lot and I am so fucking afraid of him dying. He was in quite good health and is still driving + valid without a problem but I hear on the phone he is starting to be tired.
He told me himself that it's life if he was going, but that he doesn't have the intention to die now.
As for my mother I finally found the courage of arguing back for some stuff and we didn't contact for some days. Now everything is back normal but during this no contact time I was mortified she might die and we would have fought.
This night I dreamed really hard (it felt real) that my father informed me that some people at my job poisoned his/our cat. Mind you, this dear cat (14 years, alongside my 14 first years), is dead since almost 10 years now. But in my dream I didn't knew that and woke up crying my heart out. I was worried but we exchanged text messages with my father and he is okay (on the road coming back at his place, reason also why I am worried).
While writing this I can't stop crying. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I must had that I intend to see a psychologist but I must wait some months.
TLDR : I am almost afraid of my parents dying, partially because of my mother talking about the age of my father, and can't stop crying sometimes. + had a bad dream about death of a cat.