u/ChoiceGuarantee134

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We are both adults, but it is extremely triggering to me. I have just been told so I have time to work out what to say or do.

I can't see her. To be honest, I have found the relationship to be quite strained since she became sicker. It is indeed very bad for me.

Don't try and talk me out of this as I know it's illogical, but I feel like a failure as I am larger and don't restrict as much these days. It is still deeply triggering though and I don't know what to do. At what point am I bad friend ?

In the kindest way possible, I hate you all. Fuck all of you for having the same desire to be thin and the motivation to get there. How dare you have the same diagnosis as me. I want to be empathetic towards other anorexics, but truthfully, I cannot. I do not care. It is my struggle and my desire.

I hate that people are "better" than me at it, and struggling more. I feel so horrible and gross when I see someone smaller than me, or when I know someone's inner ment state is the same as mine. I'm so protective over anorexia. It is my thing. and I don't want to have anything to do with anyone that has it. It is a selfish disorder and fuck you for that.

(Obviously i love all of you individually as people. This vent is just my bad relationship with ana and how it makes me feel. Please don't take this literally)

For those who developed anorexia in adulthood, why?

What was your history with food like before?

And why do you restrict? is it to do with weight or something else? do you want to be really skinny or not?

Importantly, do you feel competitive with your friends to be the skinniest?

I am asking as I am diagnosed in early 20s and would like to know what non-teenagers experiences are.

I developed a binging cycle facilitated by alcohol making me able to purge. I've now stopped consuming alcohol but this means I started to restrict a lot and realized my weight has now decreased a lot. I have confused feelings about this, due to competitiveness with my friends as I want to be the skinniest, but it has also been a shock.

I am unhealthy in that I want to continue to lose weight so I can be the smallest person, but I also don't want to continue being a hermit. I don't know how much control I want to have over this and I don't know where I stand with alcohol now either.

I start college soon too and I'm worried the lifestyle will make me drink again, restarting the cycle.

Any advice?

I developed a binging cycle facilitated by alcohol making me able to purge. I've now stopped consuming alcohol but this means I started to restrict a lot and realized my weight has now decreased a lot. I have confused feelings about this, due to competitiveness with my friends as I want to be the skinniest, but it has also been a shock.

I am unhealthy in that I want to continue to lose weight so I can be the smallest person, but I also don't want to continue being a hermit. I don't know how much control I want to have over this and I don't know where I stand with alcohol now either.

I start college soon too and I'm worried the lifestyle will make me drink again, restarting the cycle.

Any advice?