New-ish to parenting & sick
I just want some feedback on what I did and if that means I didn’t show up as a parent. Last July, we adopted a 1-year old toddler. I didn’t expect the shock that came with it because I never cared raised a toddler or a kid before. Two weeks into the process, I got sick with pneumonia which was caught a month later with a X-ray. My partner was hurt by my withdrawal and doubt in my parenting ability. She took on the load of caring for her. So, caring for me while I’m sick was obviously a burden on her and I didn’t feel any warmth from her. It turns out that she resented me.
——
Right after pneumonia, I got a severe case of plantar fasciitis which hampered my ability to care for the child. I really pushed through the pain, illnesses as much as I could. Recently, I came down with a 101 fever and my mom lives 5 minutes away from work where I left from. I thought if I went home, it would add the burden onto her caring for me and I would not be able to help in any way. I could see how my decision to stay at my mom’s hurt her feelings.
—-
She said that sometimes parents care for their kid while they are sick and not coming home meant I didn’t show up as a parent. I’m thinking if one parent isn’t sick, then it would make sense for the other parent to take over as I would do if she’s sick. She didn’t believe me on that but that’s what I’ve done when she’s sick.
For more context, we’ve recently separated and we’re trying to figure things out. I think I messed up on this one. I am really learning a lot about what it means to be a parent and am connecting well with our child now. I do help us out with bath, bedtime, cooking and watching our kid when she needs a break like going out to see friends, family and even some time for herself in the mornings if our kid wakes up early. I get up early to go to work and she’s a SAHM.