u/ChinesePropagandist0

"If having sex was all it took to get rid of the chaos, then what was the point of my life up until now? In all my 18 years, I've never despaired of life as much I have today."

I just finished chapter 88. When I read this I felt it had profound meaning but I'm not smart enough to figure out what I'm feeling on my own. Could someone please try pointing me in the right direction? I promise I won't assume anything you say is true just because I don't have an answer for myself yet.