“It takes two to ruin a relationship” but what exactly is the cheater’s “side”?
Just to give some context: I’ve been cheated on multiple times, and honestly, I feel like I’ve been surrounded by cheaters my whole life.
My first guycheated on me. He was my first everything, and he cheated. My ex-fiancée of almost a decade also cheated on me and pregnant. And even my own mother is a cheater.
So something that really frustrates me sometimes is when I hear this line in movies or from people in real life whenever cheating comes up. Like when someone says:
“There are two people in a relationship.”
“It takes two people to break a relationship.”
Or when people say they “need to hear the cheater’s side.”
One of my childhood friends literally told me after my breakup that it was hard for them to react because they “didn’t know her side yet.”
And I genuinely don’t understand that.
What side is there to hear about when someone cheats?
Like yes, obviously relationships can have problems on both sides. Maybe people stop having sex, maybe someone feels neglected, maybe the relationship is dying already, maybe communication sucks. I get that relationships are complicated.
But how does any of that explain cheating specifically?
Why do some people act like those reasons somehow soften the betrayal itself? If someone feels unloved, trapped, unhappy, disconnected, etc., does that suddenly make cheating understandable? Does that mean they get to just cheat their way out instead of leaving honestly?
That’s the part I never understand when people talk about “both sides.”