So I am trying to get perspective on something to know if what I am feeling is totally irrational or not.
I also want to preface this post by saying I have never been in a relationship before, so this might be totally normal and I might be in the wrong here.
To provide some context, my roommate and I live in a pretty small two bedroom apartment, there are really only three rooms, our two bedrooms and a tiny combined kitchen, living room entrance. The size is small enough that if you speak above a whisper, you can hear it through the whole apartment. My roommate is a friend from HS and we have known each other for about 7 years, we are close but not super close, he has been with his girlfriend for about 1.5-2 years.
When we first moved in together, I had asked him to just give me a heads up when someone is coming over (I had bad experiences with people coming over to my house when I was young) he agreed but he asked that he didn’t have to tell me when his GF came over. I agreed because for whatever reason I assumed she would not be over super often. I think I thought, when you are dating someone you usually do things outside the house together, and then go back to your respective homes for the night. What ended up happening is that she comes over almost every day when he is here, at least for a short while. He mentioned they try and split their time between the two apartments (hers and the one we live in together) 50/60. If he is sleeping at this apartment the night, there is a good chance she will also be here. She also comes here and stays on her own once in a while, especially when he goes to the gym for a few hours and she stays behind.
A big reason this makes me annoyed is that our apartment is so small and they are somewhat loud (lots of talking and giggling while they are here together) so it is hard to focus on anything or like talk on the phone. Also, they like to spend most of their time in the dining room area, which as I mentioned is connected to the kitchen and the living room area, so if I want to make anything in the kitchen or use the dining room table I get in their way. And as stated before, I have no warning when she is coming over, so if I was planning on using the dining table for anything that day I am kinda SOL (like for eating or painting). Another reason I don’t like being out there when they are out there other than giving them their space is that they talk about me to others. For example, my roommate once came to me and mentioned that his girlfriend was going around telling people about how I stored food in the fridge and that the people thought it was weird. He thought this was funny but it made me uncomfortable, like I have nowhere to relax because whenever she comes over there is the chance she will start gossiping about me to the people she knows (this might just be a me problem, but negative talking about others behind their back makes me uncomfortable). I spoke to my roommate about it once and he pretty much said people talk about each other all the time so I should get over it.
She is nice, and I care about my roommate a lot, but I just feel a bit overwhelmed. I think having a couple in our apartment all the time, I think I just feel like a third wheel the whole time they are here since the apartment is so small, and I don’t like feeling like a third wheel in my own home.
Are my feelings totally unreasonable and I just need to grow up? What should I do? Thanks for the input.
TL;DR I live in a small apartment and my roommates gf is here a lot, they are loud and judgmental together and they spend time in the one common area of the apartment, making it awkward for me to use that space also.