u/Chicka-boom90

So my daughter is so loving , sweet, affectionate. She tells me multiple times a day pretty much everyday “I love you so much” and it’s always in the most random moments which makes it special.

Saturday evening we’re making homemade pizzas. We all love it. She tells me she loves me and I say aww I love you too. She then tells me “thank you” so I asked her “thank you for what?” Her response “for loving me”. When I tell you I bawled my eyes out , it hit me so hard. I’m tearing up just writing this now remembering that moment. She’ll be 4.5 end of next month.

I almost wasn’t a mom. Something I truly felt in my bones I wanted to be. I struggled with multiple losses and had a stillbirth. I was told I had a 5% chance I would carry to full term. So my husband and I decided to pursue a gestational carrier. So we created our embryos (she’s 100% our dna) and went on a long expensive stressful journey. It was sooo worth it. She’s understanding, gentle , empathetic, smart , funny. I could go on. Our life is literally out of a movie , like those scenes where the family is running around chasing each other in costumes and then falls on the couch and laughs while we’re cuddling. These moments happen so often. It is so rewarding. I couldn’t have asked for a better life. It was a struggle to get here but so worth it.

So I really need one of those sticky bras or even nipple cover. But is there even a such thing as a non toxic option??

So let me start off by saying that I love my friends , I don’t judge them. I’m not saying me doing what I do and being crunchy is right and they are wrong. It’s just that we are so incredibly different.

Ok so I met my friend 4 years ago when the kids were both 6 months old. So they’ve grown up together. I love this. I knew she wasn’t crunchy or really any of my friends and that’s always been fine. But recently it seems like it’s getting a little more difficult when getting together.

I recently got to hang out with my one friend. Her son has started video gaming at about 3.5. Has a tablet he’s on a lot or uses her phone where we’re out. I have definitely noticed a big change with his hyperactivity and that constant stimulation he needs. We went to a book store and she immediately went over to Starbucks and grabbed him a cake pop. My daughter asked what was in the bag and her response was something to keep him listening. He was running around being loud, not wanting to sit and look at books. My daughter can be at the book store for 2 hours sitting and looking / reading books. She’s super chill and calm (this is why we avid food dyes because I’ve seen the negative side to them). Both at home at at stores.

But when she’s with her friends or anyone, she feeds off them. So she was wanting to run around with him. I kept having to ask her to stop (she’s never like this and is always a good listener when asked to do something). So it was very frustrating, as my friend wasn’t really on top of her son in stopping him. I love her and her son but it’s just been getting harder when going into public places. She’s always complaining about his behavior and wanting to get away alone without him. My daughter is with me 24/7 and I can take her anywhere , she’s a good listener, patient and calm (we spent an 1.5 in a store shopping and she just chilled the whole time). Which I know I’m lucky. Idk if it’s a combo of the no screens and no dyes (plus the way we eat) along with her personality or if she’s just this way.

I just don’t really know what to do since it’s getting worse. Plus the phone is always out for him to watch his shows and she sees this which I don’t really like. How do I deal? Is it possible to stay connected with someone who has a kid so vastly different and not influence your kid? I don’t want her exposed to the phone (shows) or video games at all.