u/Chi-606 — reddlx

i miss you fucking terribly. every day since we parted ways i’ve missed you. missed your voice, your presence, your kindness, your love. you could always put me at ease, make me feel like everything will be ok. having you, cost me nothing. it added value to my life i didn’t think was possible. you showed me how much i truly matter, and how much i should matter to myself.

i know you must be struggling, and i feel like it’s my fault. don’t forget how important you are to those around you, how much you are loved and adored. you said i “showed you how it’s done”. “time and again” i think you added as well. but you were the one who showed me, showed me what real love, real care looks like. no barriers, no limits, not being afraid. being truly free and truly yourself. you showed me how it is to be done. i followed your lead. i showed you, what you taught me. granted you had to beat it into me time and again. you never wavered you never gave up on me. you kept chipping away until i accepted it all. ok maybe not all, but still. i miss you so fucking much! i miss you so bad it hurts.

but, i won’t drag you back down with me. not this time. you’ve been through enough. it won’t do either of us any favors either. the moment will be electric, i’d feel my heart swell up again. i’d see that light you have inside of you once more. but the pain that will eventually follow will be the worst possible thing. i won’t do that to you. you might be right, maybe i can take it, maybe it doesn’t hurt me the same way it hurts you. what i can say is, i never want to have to go though that again, not with you. seeing you like that hurts more than the thought of never being able to see you again.

i’ve hurt you enough, i have to let you go….i just don’t know if i can

edit: thank you all for the support and kind words. i never expected screaming into the void would garner this much attention…thank you all. you have no idea how much this meant to me❤️