My ‘34F’ Boyfriend ‘35M’ has unmedicated ADHD, the tunnel vision is getting hard for me.
Does anyone have any experience dating someone with unmedicated ADHD?
I ‘34F’ have been with my boyfriend ‘35M’ for 3 years. I’ve known him since high school. We have been through a lot together (his younger brother passed away in September of last year), and I love him to bits. But I am having a hard time with his tunnel vision. He’s been money driven from the day I met him, his nickname in my phone is actually Mr. Crabs lol.
Although I do admire his work ethic and dedication, I’m starting to feel invisible. He works Monday through Friday and now he’s been taking side jobs every Saturday and Sunday. I also work, cook every night, clean the house, do our laundry, take care of our fur babies etc. The only time he helps with household duties is when I’m away visiting family. And even then it’s minimal. For example: I washed a load of laundry and let him know it needed to be transferred to the dryer before I left, when I got back it was still sitting in the washing machine, 5 days later. But he did do the dishes 🤷🏽♀️
He’s on his phone 24/7, he even showers with it most of the time so he can catch up on news and YouTube videos lol. Any calls or texts he has to look at IMMEDIATELY. Doesn’t matter what we are doing. Work comes first, coworkers come first, his boss calling after hours comes first.
I’ve expressed how I’ve felt a few times and he apologizes but nothing changes. I’ve asked for flowers multiple times, he comes home with bourbon or nothing at all. I do things for him and get him little things that he’s been craving or asking for all the time so I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for him to do the same for me?
Example: He’s been talking about wanting to try a cannoli for weeks, so I stopped at a local bakery I used to work at back in my hometown and grabbed him one. I also gave him a full body massage, the WORKSSS, and it wasn’t reciprocated lmao. I do things like this all the time 🥲
I know he’s been diagnosed with adhd since he was a kid so I don’t know if the tunnel vision is that, or he’s just selfish? What do I dooo?? He’s very loving other than those things. He’s never talked to me in a condescending way or done anything to warrant a break up. I just feel so empty and ignored. Like I give 100% and he gives 50 if that makes sense!