I (32f) have been with my husband (35m) 8 years and I have been on the fence of ending things for awhile now. We had 2 kids and have come a long way, but a lot of the time i’ve spend battling his addiction with him. In 2020 I had solid evidence after he relapsed, i fell into depersonalization and depression during that. He kept convincing me he only drank when he was clearly nodding out. He got sober from opiates end of 2020 and since then still struggles with alcohol, which he shouldn’t even be using because he’s on suboxone. He gets major depressive when mixing the two and it becomes this vicious cycle the last 5 years now. Every major life event we’ve had has been thank to me pushing through and finding ways. Our transition from a room for rent to an apartment, to a house, to out of state. I’m always willing to find ways when he seems disassociated with the task. I will carry financial burdens, I will find him help, I have worked from home with both kids to cut childcare costs. I am just done. He keeps choosing alcohol over me. He’s a great and playful dad but often is irresponsible in other parts of his life. His mom still pays his phone bill, i’ve paid for both cars (although he helps with maintenance and insurance but it took awhile to get him there) I just am tired of feeling so stupid and like the last priority. I love him and i have sympathy for him and I often think leaving will make it worse, but i feel like i am so checked out 99% of the time because of how little he cares about me that id be a better mother and a happier person alone.
What made you leave? when did you decide enough was enough and chose yourself over them constantly giving into their addictions?