TW (grief, suicide) // I don't know what to do...
I do not know how to really start this but here goes nothing.
Currently my spouse is deployed and it feels like the world is ending. This is not the first deployment that we have lived through in fact I am even a military child and my dad was gone more times so I get it but we have had everything go so terribly wrong and I am to a point where I feel for my own safety and well being I need to be hospitalized. But I don't know what to do because I have pets and I have no where for them to go and no one and I really cant afford to board them at this point because I am also covering an entire move across country...
The rant of whats going on because I feel like I need this out :
Right before my spouse left we lost our brother (best friend but we all grew up together) to suicide and I had a miscarriage a week later which in itself was hard enough especially since this was our third pregnancy loss in a year. After my spouse left though its like the world is against us, my spouse was supposed to get out and we were gonna move and then he got told "if you don't sign this extension paperwork you most likely can't leave deployment and pay won't come through for awhile", which for us isn't an option because I got into a college I have been working on getting into for 6 years that has a 30% acceptance rate and I have to cover the cost of a move across the country because the military won't move me now that this paperwork and won't give me resources to help (I have tried reaching out to one source, military groups provided to use by my husband command, etc.). So not only am I supposed to do everything alone like I'm she hulk but also the military has said you are completely on your own and to top it all off another person was allowed his EAS because he could afford the risk of no pay so now my husband is mentally spiraling cause his friends were all allowed to go home (due to one having a kid and one risking it) and because if I am honest I am a huge concern for him even though I really don't want to be a burden, because I have no one but him and feel like if I don't talk about my mental I will react and I am basically in a corner.
Also I did reach out to family and friends about this and they all either can't help or won't because they feel I am being dramatic and because "we knew this was gonna happen" so that's the beautiful cherry on top.
Okay rant over. Thanks.