I always felt weird sharing mental health issues to people even friends bc it feels like I’m fishing for pity and sometimes just very vulnerable so I just avoid it. So basically idk who to tell this to. It’s a wonder how people just talk about the horrible things that’s happened to them. I’m literally crying rn bc it’s hard to talk about things.
I just found out I have PTSD 2 months ago when I requested my records bc I’m moving. The diagnosis was from therapy sessions 3 years ago and then I had to do EMDR but quit at the beginning bc I got frustrated and didn’t like my therapist (same practice as the previous one but the new one was trained in EMDR) at the time. The therapist I was with before was the one whom I actually opened up to. Anyway when I found out about this diagnosis everything just clicked. Also I was kind of pissed bc the records didn’t detail what I told her so in my mind I’m thinking I’ll have to go over everything all over again.
It clicked bc I’ve always wondered why my brother couldn’t remember certain details. He’ll remember the event but not the negative details of that event? Or sometimes he’ll just outright not remember. Thing is my mom went through some of it with us and she remembers so I’m definitely not going crazy. I thought maybe I was maybe remembering it differently?
Anyway it also explains why I’m such an anxious person. I was diagnosed with GAD and MDD in 2018/19 and then the PTSD in 2023. The whole time I knew there was something off. I was for sure it was BPD. Then bam turns out your girl is just traumatized.
I wish I’d known sooner. Idk more time to do something about it and actually put a name to it? I’ve always why I was so anxious and so easily startled. Turns out that’s very much a common theme with PTSD. Makes me wanna cry a little just bc the whole time I was crazy lol I didn’t even know what to get help on bc I didn’t really understand what was wrong.
Sorry if this was everywhere.