u/ChelseaMourning

I’ve been going through a bout of severe insomnia for a couple of months now, due to a change in circumstances and the associated stress. I was prescribed mirtazapine at a low dose and that hasn’t really worked. I’ve also been taking hydroxyzine, promethazine, magnesium and CBD oil/vape, often augmenting it all with alcohol just to get 4-5 hours. Other nights I don’t sleep at all and it’s getting worse.

I ended up in a&e on Friday morning after taking too much and having slurred speech and slow responses, after another night of no sleep at all. All they did was run bloods and make me wait 5hrs for the mental health liaison who told me “have you tried thinking about the positive things in your life” and “I don’t know what you expect me to do”.

My dr prescribed sertraline earlier in the week which I’ve been reluctant to take due to the fact that it can cause insomnia. I gave in yesterday and took it at 6am to be on the safe side. Lo and behold, I’ve been up all night like a meerkat on speed. Why the hell would I be prescribed a drug that causes insomnia, when my primary issue is insomnia and sleep anxiety?! I’ve been fully awake for 3 nights this week. I’m a single mum with a full time job and I can’t go on like this. Has anyone else been prescribed sertraline for insomnia or is my dr an idiot? Do I carry on with it or stop? I’m holding on for dear life here but I’m getting more and more suicidal by the day.

I (39F) filed for divorce back in January and the date to apply for the decree nisi is early June. My ex (41M) has been deliberately obstructive throughout the whole process and is refusing to engage with my solicitor. He will also not allow me to put the house on the market, so I’m stuck paying half the mortgage, while also paying for my own rent and expenses.

We have a 12yo daughter and he chose to walk away from her and give me full custody when we left. He said if he couldn’t have me then he couldn’t have her either. I fought against this for her sake, but ultimately gave in because I didn’t want her to be forced to spend time with a man who didn’t want her. The last couple of weeks of us living together was unbearable, to the point where I chose to leave early for our own safety, as he had become aggressive and hostile. Soon after we left, he decided he did want to see her but the damage had been done and she now refuses to acknowledge him.

It was her birthday over the weekend and she was adamant that she didn’t want to see him. He took this badly and was texting me all weekend about it. He’s now said that he will not speak to my solicitor and that after he’s gone to a show he has tickets for he’s “done”. He’s threatened suicide in the past but has never acted on it. It’s a manipulation tactic. It’s been over 3 months and he hasn’t told any of his family or friends about our situation. When they ask to see her, he just makes up an excuse as to why they can’t. None of them have come to me directly.

My own mental health has taken an absolute beating. I started with terrible insomnia 2 months ago and have been taking a variety of prescription and non prescription remedies to get any sleep, which doesn’t always work. I’m severely anxious during the day and my daughter has picked up on this. She’s in counselling herself through the school. But she chooses to spend more and more time in her room and away from me, which is making it worse. I just want her to be ok.

Anyway, my solicitor is expensive and not particularly responsive, so does anyone here have experience of a situation where the ex just won’t cooperate? I don’t have the funds to pay for a financial remedy order or court order to get him to move. In the mean time I’m having to use our joint savings to stay afloat on my single income.

Any help is appreciated because I’m reaching crisis point here. We were together 22yrs, married 15.

I’m prone to bouts of extreme insomnia and this one has been going on for 2 months now. Usually I go straight for the z drugs, but after learning my lesson (dependency, tolerance etc) I’ve tried my hardest to stay away from them this time. I’ve been prescribed 7.5mg mirtazapine but the sedative effect seems to have worn off. At the moment I’m trying various combinations of the following:

- hydroxizine hydrochloride (most reliable but not guaranteed)

- CBD oil

- CBD vape with Indica terpenes (weed isn’t legal here)

- Calm app and headphones

- alcohol (usually wine)

- magnesium

- promethazine (but this only makes my body tired, not my mind)

I just cannot switch my mind off, even if it’s talking absolute nonsense to me. I’m great at falling asleep on the couch, but when it comes to actually going to bed, I’m wide awake. By 3-4 in the morning, I’m literally suicidal and self harming by beating myself up so the pain can take my mind off things. Getting out of bed doesn’t help. Reading in bed doesn’t help. Hell last night I even switched to laying with my head at the food of the bed. Didn’t help. When I do sleep, I’m getting 5-6 hrs a night tops and waking up before 5am, then I immediately have diarrhea every morning.

It’s worth me saying that I’m in an extremely stressful situation at the moment. I left my husband 3 months ago and have full custody of our 12yo daughter because he chose not to be in her life. He’s also obstructing the divorce, refusing to respond to my solicitor or fill in forms and refusing to put our house on the market. I’m working full time in the city with a 3hr round commute and paying half the mortgage on the co-owned house while also paying my own rent and expenses. He’s now trying to push my daughter to have a relationship with him and she flat refuses, so he’s threatened to khs a number of times. I just cannot deal with all of this on my own. He’s emotionally and financially abusive and I don’t see any way out of it. It’s not a surprise that my sleep is suffering.

I’m just trying to stay brave and positive for my daughter, but honestly I want to be locked away and drugged up until I feel nothing. I’m heading back to the dr’s today but I have no idea what they’ll suggest.

My daughter turns 12 on Sunday, so I booked 2 bowling lanes for 8 kids back in March. Invited 7 kids around Easter. All of them accepted and I’ve paid for all their places and made up party bags.

I’ve since had 2 cancellations for a dance competition, which they signed up to AFTER accepting the invitation. One friend even asked me to push the time back so her youngest could come, which I did, and then she immediately said “she can’t come now”.

Today I had another parent text and say sorry but their daughter is going to their dad’s that day. Again, foreseeable. I get home and tell my daughter and she says another friend has cancelled because she’s “busy”. Less than 24hrs notice. And I can’t get a refund.

Only one of the 4 cancellations has offered to pay. Luckily one was replacing one of the dance competition girls, so we’re only 2 down.

I just feel horrible for my daughter. We’re going through a tough time at the moment because my husband and I are getting divorced and he’s chosen not to have any custody. So I’m trying to organise her whole birthday solo, while working full time with a 3hr round commute and my mental health/anxiety is in the toilet. I just want her to have a nice time and her friends are flaking on her.