I found out about the PA when I was 6 months pregnant - he promised to stop. I believed him. I trusted him.
Fast forward to 3 months postpartum - I found about his secret Snapchat account.. he had been messaging LOTS of women. Explicit content was saved in chats but I only need to imagine what was exchanged. Phone calls for hours on end in his phone records and who knows what else that has been deleted.
I sat with the information: I got a prenup, my child a passport all before confronting him because I was convinced I was leaving.
He said he’d commit suicide if I left, because he’d “have nothing without me“ (lives in my house, I’m the bread winner and obviously I’d have custody cause our baby is so young)
He promised he would change, go to therapy, he’s deleted all of his social media...
So, I’ve given it a chance. I really do love this man.
Everything seems ’normal’ it’s been a couple months BUT i am stuck in a state of hyper vigilance. I can’t stop thinking about how he hid it from me for so long. I don’t know if he has even stopped - or has just found better ways to hide it.
Has he actually stopped? How do I get out of this state of thinking about it every second of the day? I overanalyse every move he makes, constantly aware of his phone.
I feel myself going crazy… I’ve never been like this and I don’t like who I have become.
Please help me? I just want to be happy 😭