I’m a senior in high school, about to take my final exams, and I’ve hit a point where I’m seriously questioning everything.
I’ve been feeling burned out for years now. Ever since primary school ended, I’ve kind of hated the school system. I got stuck in this cycle of procrastination → pressure → rebellion. I didn’t study much, but I constantly stressed about it anyway, and it just made everything worse.
The thing is, I don’t think I’m a bad student (having B grades mostly). I actually like learning — just not in the way school forces it. I’m much more of a self-learner. If something interests me, I can go deep into it using YouTube or ChatGPT. But at the same time, I also have this tendency to do nothing for days… and then suddenly swing to the opposite extreme where I try to be overly productive and never rest.
About 3 years ago, I started producing music. I’d say I’m at an intermediate level now, and my dream is to become an electronic music producer and make a living from it. But I’m also worried: if I fully rely on it for money, will I lose the passion and “magic” behind it?
I also started going to the gym around 9 months ago. I’ve had some breaks here and there, but overall I’ve been consistent. That showed me I can be disciplined and work hard — but mainly for things I actually care about.
Wouldn't it be better to just somehow pass at university with really low effort, get my degree, but also dedicating time for gym and music during these years, and whatever new passion will come in my way? Because if you love something, you will be consistent in it, which means you want to improve, and you do, than that will be a skill you can do for money later without preassure.
Now comes the big issue: college.
My parents are completely against the idea of me skipping college or taking a gap year. I applied to a major, but honestly, I don’t even really know much about it. I just chose something that seemed relatively easy, respected, and could lead to a stable job.
But I can’t really imagine myself going to college already burned out, studying something I’m not even interested in, just to follow a path I’m not sure I want. I believe more in experience-based learning, and I feel like I’d rather build real skills, maybe earn money, and grow that way.
One idea I had was to start college and then drop out later if one of my skills (music, YouTube, etc.) starts generating income. In my country, if I get enough points, college is government-funded, so financially it wouldn’t be a big loss if I quit later.
But based on my past experiences, I feel like I’d just end up stuck again in that same burnout cycle.
I feel like I’m standing in front of a huge decision that could either make or break things for me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
How did you decide between college and pursuing something you actually care about?