Tried dating a solo-poly girl… I fkd up
July last year, I met this girl on Facebook and she said she was solo-poly. We’ve been deeply infatuated, but I’m not poly. The jealousy hurts a lot. I feel like I’m not enough whenever we’re not around. I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself.
She’s proud of the progress she’s made emotionally through life, and she’s told me I’m the exception\*, although I’m not entirely sure what that means since she’s still sexually active with another partner. I’ve told her my boundary is dick, but it’s ‘nonnegotiable’ as it was pre-existing dick.
I know I get emotional when I think about it and I keep trying to maintain a level head, but it always circles back to not being enough.
There are so many intricacies and nuances that make me feel love for her and her kids, but it’s a love that only feels reciprocated when we’re together 😔.
I keep asking why I do it to myself, but I do love her.. it’s just the most hurtful love I’ve ever known