u/ChainComplex4793

I need help with what to do, when I was around 17 I went for an extraction om a decayed tooth which had broken off, my top right molar, the anaestetic didnt work, she injected me in the gum four times and added numbing gel and I still felt the most brain rattling agony I could ever imagine. she managed to get half of the tooth out but I was crying and screaming as I was in the most intense pain I had ever experienced in my life. she said she was going to send me home with half of the tooth removed if I continued to scream so I tried no to scream but I could not help it. that experience has left me traumatised for years, I am now 20, she sent me home for being in pain with half a tooth in my mouth, an exposed nerve and no aftercare no painkillers nothing. Ive ended up in hospital for overdosing on painkillers due to the pain of the nerve dying, a few years om and the nerve now is completely dead, I now suffer from recurrent infections and abcsesses to the point of my doctors/dentist no longer being able to give me antibiotics because the infection has become resistant. the last time it was bad was around october to December last year, it is now may and I have swelling on the inner side of my gum and a round abcess om the outer sid. I have learnt to live with the pain but the thoight of the infection in my mouth really irks me. my teeth had been fine for months, I think the problem is that my toothbrush was downstairs and my dad was drunk and I didn’t want to go downstairs so I just went to bed and woke up without brushing, I managed to get my toothbrush and I brushed once yesterday but the day before I just used mouthwash alone. the infec has flared up again and I am so scared because I have no idea how long this is going to last. I need some advice on what to do and also how can I conquer my fear and trauma linked to the dentist because I am terrified and being in pain just brings back my horrible experience