I don’t think this counts as questioning because I’ve been pretty sure I’m bi for like, six years of my life. But I (18F) am I high school senior and got into some sort of pseudo-talking stage with a girl my age who is a lesbian. Now this thing is kind of my fault cause I DMd her first since she posted something about being lesbian and I thought she was cute. Personality-wise, she’s super sweet. Our convo so far has not been dry, we just go back and forth from where we left off. But now I believe she’s showing interest outright and like, I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is cold feet. I don’t think I’d hesitate like this if she was a man. I’ve literally had crushes on girls before, but I’ve had more crushes on guys and I can’t get the nagging feeling I’ll be “missing” something.
She’ll be full on making me blush for one moment and then another I’ll be thinking I could be good friends with her instead. I’ve also always felt that I was more sexually attracted to guys, but girls aren’t off the table. I don’t really know where to go from here anymore cause I feel like a piece of shit. All the generic advice is like “oh you barely know her! You’re just testing the waters!” But what if this is just the adrenaline of having a crush wearing off? Also my family is hella homophobic so committing to a guy means I’d never have to come out, but committing to a girl is waiting for the inevitable. Not that I give that much of a crap on my parents’ opinions, but I’d rather not be ostracized by my grandparents or the cousins I actually like. This whole time I never hesitated to hide any interest in women that I’ve had around my friends but now that the possibility can be real why am I acting like this??? If somebody could weigh in I’d be super grateful, I just don’t want to fumble her for a hypothetical guy that I’ve constructed in my imagination.