Crush situation
I used to have a crush on this guy, not something like instant love at first sight, but rather something steady. So I thought I would confess to him when our school year ended via text (because 1. extremely scared of rejection and 2. face-to-face confession—nooooooooo wayyyyyy, I’d let the ground swallow me instead).
He started following me on Insta, I followed back, started talking, shared our art, and he liked all my posts (literally all of them). I thought I was incapable of having butterflies before him (don’t get me wrong, I had attractions before, like damn that guy is so handsome/tall etc.), but yeah, the feelings I felt for him certainly were different and much deeper than that.
But suddenly, he unfollowed me, though he follows certain friends of mine 💔 (never understood that equation). I found out apparently a girl had confessed to him and they are now dating. I met that girl later during the sports festival, and she was so pretty, bubbly, nice, and cute, and the total opposite of me. Instead of feeling jealous or angry, I just felt guilty and then jealous for some reason, so I tried stopping myself from having any more feelings and moving on.
But sometimes I still remember him. I remember I used to daydream about him and me going out on dates, talking, hand-holding, etc., lol. They (crush and gf) had a breakup in between and were not talking to each other for around 3-ish months or so, and I thought maybe I could at least let him know my feelings now, but I found out they had apparently patched up and were keeping it private, so I just gave up altogether.
He was the first guy who was funny, attentive, and actually fun and nice to talk to. Since I had transferred from a girls’ school and went to a co-ed one for 11 & 12, so yeah. He was just different, and I felt at ease with him. I loved our English class when he would crack jokes, ask for help, and I would get to talk to him by taking that scope.
But yeah, I never understood it though—I didn’t confess, nor did I blow my cover, so why did he unfollow me while still following some of my friends? Am I that bad even as a classmate chat?
Anyways, for someone like me who is always attracted to fictional men and whose real-life experiences were either creepy or just bad, he literally took me by storm. Since school life has finally ended, I thought to share this here. Hope his relationship is a success though, while I go back to my fictional cave.
(At one point I even shipped him with his best friend—two straight men btw lol—because my BL mind could literally see the potential and I even wrote a short story on Wattpad about them lol. I hope they never find out 😭)