I’m 19F, and he’s 20M. We’ve been with each other for 7 months.
PHONE USE DURING INTIMATE ACTS
For this, every intimate situation, he’s had his phone out. the first month he said, “I need the distraction so I don’t come”. Sure, if that helps. but eventually we moved further with these interactions and he actually does let it out, but he still has his phone out. For the next 5 months. I felt really insecure that he needed to look at his phone to get off and I think eventually i started depending on it in order for him to just come already so it’ll be over. Although I still felt bad I couldn’t do it myself. One time he even put headphones in to listen to something. At that point i didn’t even know what the point of me trying to pleasure him was for, he can do that on his own time. He was the one asking me to do these things for him also. He knows I’m asexual so we’ve only done up to oral sex and I’m even uncomfortable with that and he knows it. I told him. He keeps trying to push it. He also knows that i prefer to wear clothes that cover myself, not many revealing clothes. He asked me if I could take off my shirt, and I folded. I did it just once while I pleasured him and a few months later, i found out he took a photo. I felt so disgusted and betrayed. To firstly know that I already felt uncomfortable taking my shirt off, then to think it’s ok to take a photo WHILE I’m in the middle of sucking u off. I felt like ending it there but he said he wanted to work things out. But even after the apology, I haven’t felt comfortable around him.
COMMENTS ON HOW I SHOULD DRESS
He keeps telling me what to wear. When I wear a dress, he complains about how he can’t reach my chest. But he also has a kink I feel like he keeps putting onto me, which are tights/stockings. One example thats happened many times throughout the 7 months is during valentine’s day. I wore a dress with winter tights and I always have an undershirt thats typically a turtleneck because I’m just most comfortable in those. We meet up and he comments on my clothes, “Maybe you should change out of that” because my undershirt was white and we were going out to eat, understandable but I only had white shirts at the time so I just put a jacket on over. Then we come back to my place after. No mess on my clothes so i didn’t think changing would matter anymore and it was still the afternoon. He comments again. “Change into something more comfortable” and told me to change into a shirt, shorts and change my winter tights into one of the see-through ones. My dress is wayy more comfortable than whatever he just suggested??? It was cold too, thats why I had on all the layers and WINTER tights. But no, He wants to see more of my skin, but also when I just wear shorts, he still tells me to wear tights underneath. and this happened many more times in different situations.
THE WAY HE TOUCHES ME
I’m a very ticklish person and I flinch a lot with sudden touches and he found this out about me. So he always tries tickling me. I was laughing at first, it was just a bunch of teasing and I didn’t think too much of it. But now i just feel on edge around him and uncomfortable. I have to grab his hand to stop him and I’ll say stop, but it’s not taken seriously, it just makes him want to do it more. It’s really stressing me out. 80% of his touches are attempts to tickle me, 15% is groping and the last 5% is hand holding. He tickles me for his own pleasure because I don’t enjoy being tickled so why else would he do it and he said he does it for my reaction.
He also hyper fixates on parts of my body I’m insecure about. Bro. I was once thinking to myself, “Why is he rubbing my stomach like I’m pregnant or something?” (Still virgins) Then he brings up the idea of something being inside and starts talking about having babies with me. We’re still young and our relationship ship has only reached 7 months so far. Plus, he asked me once if I’d rather be married and have kids or live alone and his own answer was live alone. Adding to that, he said that if he had kids, his mom would want to raise them and let him live his life. wth. I was raised by my grandparents and my parents made that exact choice with me and my siblings, so raised in that situation as the child, I really want to be in my future kids life as a parent. My thoughts on that is, if you want to live a life alone, then don’t have kids. With me at least.
The most we’ve done is oral and he asks me every time he comes over. It really hurts in my opinion. My jaw hurts like hell and I want to just cry every time, it feels like its getting ripped off and I want to vomit nd i’m scared I will if I take it any deeper. Then he keeps trying to pressure me into swallowing. He says that he would feel loved if I swallowed and that me spitting it out hurts. But I get a “try harder” when I say it hurts. I told him my jaw hurts and he said, “Yeah, we’ve been doing this for a while, my legs are getting tired.” bro. Must be hard standing there huh. He also holds my head so I don’t pull away when he releases. and I want to vomit by the thought of that in my mouth. He says sorry and that its because he doesn’t want to make a mess.
I just want it to be over at this point.