Salam,
I have a step father.
For many years my mother raised me alone. I had a complicated relationship with my biological father (he passed, he was a good charitable man but made some mistakes with finance and with his anger which got me and mother to suffer.)
My mother and my relationship is also complicated but as i grow older i have forgiven her and we had been close. And i appreciate all her sacrifices.
She remarried when i was in university, and my step father is a good man. Sometimes he has been a father figure in many instances and is supportive of my mother. As long as my mother is happy I am happy.
Im currently married and expecting a child. Recently i expressed how disappointed i was with something with both of them related to my husband.
(I wanted them to call my husband’s grandmother as she was hospitalised but they forgot, and i felt really hurt cause his grandmother was excited to meet my parents.
I suggested maybe they go to meet her instead. My mother is aware i am sensitive to older people and children, since my grandmother raised me during childhood as my parents worked). I expressed my disappointment as kindly as possible. I even apologised before he could respond.
My step dad accused me of saying that ive been super obsessed with my husband. And that he thinks I’m calling him and my mother uneducated and mannerless. And i always disrespected them. (I grew up as outspoken before but last few years ive calmed down). He was like ‘ we know what we are doing, dont teach us’ etc etc. i never said i didn’t trust them, i just wanted my opinion and request to be respected thats all.
I never meant it that way. I just wanted them to take something close to my heart seriously.
The way he said it was really off-putting. He knows I am pregnant. I was super hurt that he could become insensitive during a period of my pregnancy. I also feel offended how in a way he disrespected my husband.
I live alone with my husband. My husband is really wonderful, and takes care of me immensely and we live in a different country away from both of our parents. We do have some problems due to cultural and financial differences but he always accommodates and never disrespects me. He is also a revert and practicing Muslim but his family is super accepting of me. My family and my husband’s family have no feud and respect each other but i feel my parents hold some grudge against my husband.
I feel my mother shared my problems with my husband to him and he felt confident to drag my husband. I feel betrayed. My mother is a soft heart so she still loves my husband as her own son. But idk about my step dad.
I forgive him but i cried for so many days cause of his comments and accusations that it affected my mood during pregnancy. My parents are also aware i have health problems and im stressed about my baby currently. They just added another emotional weight on me and im unable to move past it.
Now i dont think i can go back to being in good terms with him like before. Idk what to do without upsetting everyone. But in my heart i dont wanna be close to him. I just wanted him to leave me alone.
He tried to apologise but idk my heart is unable to forgive.
Can I just tell my mother that I am not interested in maintaining close relationship with him? Islamically am i obligated to cut off regular connection?
Sorry for long past.