AITA for being ‘selfish’ on my first ever Mothers Day?
Yesterday was my first Mother’s Day as a first-time mom. My daughter is 9 months old, and while I love her more than anything, I am exhausted in every sense of the word. I’m a full-time working mom who also breastfeeds. I never get to sleep in, and most of the responsibility for our daughter falls on me. I carry the mental load of doctor appointments, feedings, baths, basically everything involved in caring for her. I think that’s why yesterday hurt so much. I thought maybe, just for one day, I’d feel appreciated. I hoped I could sleep in, get ready without rushing, maybe wake up to flowers, breakfast, or even just a balloon. Instead, it felt like every other day. I got up with our daughter, made breakfast for both of us, got us both ready, while my fiancé slept in. Then we spent the day celebrating our moms — church for mine and lunch for his. I even bought flowers and made handprint plaster gifts for our moms because otherwise his mom would’ve had nothing.
By the end of the day, I was disappointed and clearly showing it. I was quiet, short, and visibly unhappy. I know my attitude probably affected everyone around me, and I feel guilty for that. After my daughter and I took a nap together, I handed her to my fiancé and went back to bed. That’s when he came in and told me I was selfish, melodramatic, miserable, and incapable of appreciating what we have. Yes, we have a beautiful new home, a beautiful daughter, and a good life — but I can’t understand why nothing was done for me on my very first Mother’s Day.
To be fair, he did buy me one of those Skylight Calendars, but he gave it to me early, and I still hoped there would be some effort made that day. After our argument, I left to grocery shop just to get away, and he went to his parents’. When he got home, he handed me our daughter and started packing a bag. He told me he doesn’t want to be with someone so miserable, selfish, and melodramatic. He said I never smile anymore and he doesn’t enjoy being around me.
The truth is, I am overwhelmed. I’m up at 5 a.m. every day, getting our daughter ready for whichever grandma is watching her, working all day, coming home to resume childcare, cooking dinner, putting our daughter to bed, and cleaning the house for the next day. I’ve explained to him so many times over these last 9 months that I don’t feel like myself anymore — I feel depleted.
Now I’m sitting here feeling like my first Mother’s Day was a complete bust. I feel deeply underappreciated for everything I pour into our family. I’ve sacrificed so much physically and emotionally, especially through breastfeeding, and I ended the day alone in our new home with our daughter. I took today off so I could spend it with her, but I honestly don’t know where to go from here. I love him deeply and can’t imagine my life with anyone else, but I also feel so small, unloved, and unseen. AITAH for being unappreciative for what we do have instead of what I expected of my First Mothers Day?