i wanna start this off with stating that i am in my teenage years so take that into consideration.
what should i do?
i feel like i dont feel love, not that i dont deserve it or am self unloving, i just dont feel it. i have a loving family , good friends and good grades, i have hobbies and passions that i earn with work but i feel desensitized or numb. i have always had love from my parents and praise also, i get hugs and kisses ( in my culture this is normalized) also praise for doing well in competitions but even tho i act like it means alot i just kinda dont care and even dont like getting it. i have had one previous relationship and i ended it because i didnt feel anything and it felt like a waste of time, it wasnt the other sides fault she was nice but i just felt like i was hurting her with the way i acted. i tried acting like i love her but i just felt like a lie. i dont feel anything when someone says i love you or im proud of you ar shows me any love.
also the thing i like are getting affected somehow. i watch a video some guy skating and say wow or cool and my mind is like: you just said cool to a screen of some guy on the internet flipping a piece of wood with wheels, i feel like i do stuff to pass time and i feel if i stop doing anything like schoolwork my parents will punish me but i wont care, take my phone sure, ground me, okay, tell my teachers to be more strict to me i wont change and what will happen, nothing. i get no joy just okay you did this now what.
i say i like this girl but do i really? a friend said she liked me before and i may have had a reaction on the outside but i was like oh, missed opportunity ig. ive talked to her and shit and she told me she couldnt love. my first question was does she have feelings for her situationship per se or does she just talk to him for nothing. she said i jut talk to him to pass time, theyd said i love you but she told me that she just doesnt feel love. i relate to her in some way but i pass time with hobbies and after school activities. i do feel some emotions like frustration and anger but at a lower level. i feel like my life is repetitive and i dont like the idea of that, i also dont know how to feel, a year ago i was sad and lonely and would cry myself to sleef, but now i just feel that i should feel sad but i dont. i dont know what this is or how to solve it, or is this just something i may have picked up, i also didnt find any video to relate to it soo yea.
ant advice or people with similar stuff?