How do I (18M) understand what my girlfriend wants? (17F)
Hello.
I am currently in a Long Distance Relationship with my girlfriend, me and her have been together for almost two years, (Aug2024), I genuinely love her.
There is something that is confusing me, though. Recently, I grown a tad rebellious against my parents, since I still live with them. They commonly go through my texts, assume, and punish me for talking with my friends of certain topics. Or just being close, most of these friends are online, and I grew close to them and feel like that I created a strong friendship with them. But that isn't the case here.
My parents have a tendacy to dislike my girlfriend, since we online date, and we know each other, about anything, looks, likes, etc. But my mom apparently swears on her life that my girlfriend is "fake" or a robot, or even some old man. So she resorts to letting my father take my phone and computer across the state as he goes to work. This cuts off communication with me and my girlfriend for about 2 1/2 weeks, until I find out my Xbox has a browser and I log in on Twitter to DM her.
Please keep in mind that this isn't the first time my parents attempted to separate me from her. In October 2024, my parents snatched my phone when I was trying to comfort my girlfriend as she was experiencing severe mental health issues, I locked in to do anything to help her. But they took the phone and said my girlfriend is trying to "manipulate" me into harming myself, which I would not at all. I simply was trying to help my girlfriend.
That time led to me unable to DM her at all until I did on a family desktop, which my parents hated, taking that permission off too, even muting my girlfriend, which wasn't crazy enough, my mother messaged her with a large paragraph saying she isn't right for my life at all, that she should step away from me and told her to seek Jesus. I am a Christian, I do not mind preaching but that was simply aggressive, this overwhelmed her to a point she asked her uncle to reply. Why her uncle, you may ask? Because my girlfriend lives by herself, taking care of her own bills, I won't go into further detail for that. When I was able to use a device again, I unmuted her from my DMs and talked. We barely could as my parents watched me a ton and I didn't wanna go through that again.
Fast forward to winter 2025, my mom interrogates me if I still talk with my girlfriend, which I say I do, and she says that I cannot, no matter what, apparently let alone flirt with her or such, because "she must be 18" and I am confused. Why the hell are you trying to direct my relationship? We may send suggestive comments in our DMs here and there, but I draw a point to not breach the boundaries of my girlfriend.
So, she tells me that I must send a final message to my girlfriend, saying I "must focus on life and school" and not be distracted, I am at a point where I can act like I would do it, and not, as she threatened to do it herself. So I fake with her, create a Discord channel and talk with her since. Then move back to DMs months later. About early March of this year.
Fast forward to here, with my stuff out my reach, my girlfriend DMs me saying she has a long conversation she wants to talk to me about. When we get to it, first words are "I don't think we should date anymore" which made my heart sink a bit, she continues and says it's because of my parents, getting too much in the way and she needs a break, she claims. A break.
Now, she says the most confusing part, saying "We can act like best friends" and I also ask her why is this happening, why haven't she thought beforehand and taken to the fact this isn't because of her? And the mere relationship with my parents? I ask, and she says "Idk".
So, she does say she doesn't know for two reasons, one, it is to hide something she wouldn't want to say to me, which she eventually does later, or it is genuine. And I really can't figure out the difference now. I can't even understand what "taking a break and maybe come back later" means, like, I don't think that's how relationships work. But correct me if I am wrong.
Now, my girlfriend is currently asleep, so she cannot respond to my texts now, and she is going to work early tomorrow, but she said she wants time to think.
I just feel stupid, maybe the answer is right in my face and I can't grasp it, I would love help. Thanks.